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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28043199">Back For You</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/transking_23/pseuds/transking_23'>transking_23</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Zayn Malik's Babymama [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>One Direction (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abuse, Cheating, Childhood Trauma, F/M, M/M, Married Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Mythical Beings &amp; Creatures, Past Child Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Perrie Edwards is mean, Zayn Malik is a father, magic Original Character(s), magic Zayn Malik, secret gay marriage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 11:21:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>19,535</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28043199</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/transking_23/pseuds/transking_23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>My name is Anila Diana Idris. I’m 21 years old, slender, I’ve got green eyes, wavy brown hair, and freckles. I have a very odd secret. My best mate left when we were 17 to audition for X-Factor. I haven’t seen him since. I like to wear the tiara headband he got me (there’s an actual reason- not just because it’s pretty). I have a job as a dancer, and this is the story of how he and I found each other after four years of being apart. He had a “girlfriend” when we met again, and I was engaged. I was also the mother of his child, but he didn't know that part. He keeps a very odd secret too.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Perrie Edwards/Zayn Malik, Zayn Malik/Liam Payne, Zayn Malik/Original Female Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Zayn Malik's Babymama [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2144883</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. One</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>I woke up at 4:37 on the dot, and got out of bed for my morning run. Zayn and I used to do this together every morning, though a few hours later into the day. I had to keep fit for my job as a dancer, and ran two kilometers to the park and back, before making myself a cup of tea and some breakfast. This morning it was a few fruits and tea when I got back to my little house, and I ate quickly before getting ready to go dance. Hopefully Monsieur Belacroft would push me today. I wanted to get better, even though I was already in the top five of his studio dancers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Signorina Idris, early again.” Signor Belacroft smiled at me, and I smiled back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was from Italy, and was like a second father to me. Signor Belacroft was also the only person who knew I’d once been friends with Zayn Malik of One Direction in this little town that just wasn’t Bradford, and I had confided in him that Zayn was my son's father. He was also the godfather of my 3-yr-old son Abisali, so if anything happened to both me and Zayn he’d raise him. Abisali was living with my umi and baba right now since I didn't want him anywhere near Jake. He didn’t know about my son yet, and hopefully I’d be able to get away from him this time before he found out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good morning, Signor Belacroft. You’re looking well, as always.” I hugged him before going to change into my dance rehearsal outfit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A high-low dress, lace-up ballet flats, my headband (that I didn’t need with my short hair), and a pair of matte black tights. As soon as I was ready, I headed to the rehearsal room. The other girls wouldn't be here for a few hours, and I used this time to practice. I began my usual routine of stretching, then began dancing as if I was on the stage performing for a concert. I danced with my eyes closed, keeping myself focused on my footing and hand movements. If only Zayn could see how far I’d come in life; he knew it had always been my dream to dance, and now I was almost living that dream. I danced for the entire three hours it took for the rest of the girls to come to the rehearsal room, and finished to the clapping of my coworkers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nil, you’re brilliant!” My best friend here, Maria, hugged me when I was done.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I blushed with the praise, and tried to deny it. The twelve others that weren’t Maria smiled fondly, and I could tell they were glad I wasn’t letting any of the praise get to my head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nil, just accept the compliment. We all know how hard you work at dancing. You probably work even harder than Monsieur himself, and we all know how hard that is.” Saraiah, another of my coworkers and friends, told me as she passed by to get her own rehearsal outfit on.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A month later, I was working on my routine when Signor called me into his office. I walked there with confidence, knowing he wouldn't fire me. Signor Belacroft never called a girl into his office to fire her, he always did it where she could be comforted by the rest of us afterward.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Signorina Idris, I notice you give your all into dancing. I recorded you rehearsing and sent the video out in hopes you would get noticed and have a job. One of the people I sent the video to responded, saying he wants to hire you. I tell you, so you may decide whether you want to work there or not.” Signor Belacroft said, and I froze in shock.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You mean it?” I asked, and Signor smiled before nodding.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I hugged him, ecstatic. I got to dance out in public, out where people could see and appreciate my talents! I might even see Zee again, a thought which made me grin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll take the job, Signor Belacroft. I just want to be able to contact you in case I need advice or my son’s godfather to guide me.” I said, and my teacher chuckled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I knew you would want to contact me if you took the job, Signorina Idris. I will tell him now that you have decided to take it, now go back to rehearsing.” Signor Belacroft sent me back to the girls.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As soon as I walked inside the room, they all knew something wonderful had happened. Maria and Saraiah hugged me and we all cheered when I told them the news. After working for so long to dance, and having such amazing friends and a teacher who treated me like his own daughter, I was finally dancing in the spotlight. Well, not exactly the spotlight; I was going to be a backup dancer for a boyband. Honestly, it’d be wonderful to just dance like I’ve always wanted to. I smiled as I remembered how Zayn taught me how to breakdance, saying I needed something to mess with people when they assumed I was a girly dancer.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Two</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Zayn… My best friend, who I hadn’t seen in almost 5 years. We used to call each other every day, even though he wasn’t supposed to when he was on X-Factor. The calls got less frequent as he got busier with his new career and I got busier taking care of Abisali, and they completely stopped two years ago. It had been a few years since I accepted that Zayn might never know about his son. Two years since I’d accepted my son would probably never know his father. I’d gotten engaged since then; we’ve been together for a year now, on and off. I was scared of what would happen if I tried to leave him again. I was only with him at all because he stole my skin from me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I began the trek back to my little house, and slumped a little as I saw my fiancé’s truck in the drive.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jake!” I forced a grin as I walked in, and he looked over from where he was making dinner.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, Ila?” Jake asked, smiling as he saw how ‘excited’ I was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m gonna be dancing, in front of people.” I said, and Jake smiled more as he turned back to making dinner.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s amazing, sweetheart.” Jake paused in making dinner, and hugged me before kissing me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I let him lead, still wishing I didn't have to find my skin to get away. Jake tried to part my lips, but I didn’t let him. He was always trying to take things further, even though he knew I was asexual and that I'd never sleep with him even to save my life. I wouldn't even let him cuddle with me, because he only touched me to hurt me. I still had nightmares, and had to figure out where he was hiding my skin so I could get free.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jake, the food will burn.” I said after we broke the kiss, and he sighed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, Ila. Only because I hate burnt food.” Jake pecked my cheek before getting back to making our dinner, and I went to get my stuff ready.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Signor Belacroft had told me right before I left the studio that I was leaving next week. I hoped Jake wouldn't hit me for leaving so soon. Hopefully Jake wouldn't insist on coming with me, since it was against the rules for me to bring a plus one on the tour. I had to focus on my dancing, and I wouldn't be able to if Jake was standing there trying to spend every second with me.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Three</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Jake, you know I got a job as a dancer, right?” I asked after we’d finished eating the spaghetti Jake had made (it tasted disgusting and the pasta was definitely undercooked), and he nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m really proud of you, love. You deserve to dance your heart out, and to have people know how good you are.” Jake said, holding my hand over the table.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It seemed he was in one of his rare affectionate moods. Maybe I wouldn't be hit today.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, and I’m really glad that I get to dance. But the thing is… I can’t take you with me.” I said, and Jake’s face immediately changed from bright and happy to angry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why not?” He demanded, tightening his grip on my hand painfully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because it’s against the rules there. If I could, you know I would definitely bring you with me. I love you, Jake.” I said, feeling the tiny dagger in my heart twist with the white lie.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I want to call the wedding off</span>
  </em>
  <span> Is what I didn’t say.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was abusive and I was scared of him. It was normal for me to feel unsafe with the thought of ‘us’ being long term. It was normal for me to do whatever I could to keep from getting hit. It was normal for me to want my skin back so I wasn't trapped with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just don’t fall for anyone else, alright? I couldn't bear it if I lost you.” Jake said, slowly calming down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I couldn't tell him he’d never had my heart in the first place, he’d hurt me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You won’t lose me, Jake. I’ll come back from the tour in six months and you’ll still have me.” I told him, and he kissed my cheek.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I want to run away from you</span>
  </em>
  <span> I didn’t tell him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll be here waiting when you get back. Promise we’ll call and Skype while you’re gone on tour?” Jake asked, and when I promised we would he smiled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When do you leave? Hopefully not for a while, we haven’t gone on a date lately.” Jake said, and I bit my lip.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Next week. I only found out today, I swear.” I said, and Jake looked like he might hit me with those words.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s too soon.” Jake said, and I averted my eyes so he’d think I disliked being away from him like he did; I couldn't turn down my chance to get away from him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ll survive, Jake. We’ve already promised to call and Skype when we can, and I intend to keep my promise.” I assured him, and Jake relaxed.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>How can you claim to love me when you hurt me?</span>
  </em>
  <span> I didn’t ask him.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Four</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Before we knew it, the week had flown by and Jake was kissing me goodbye at the airport while his little sisters and brothers waited to hug me, his mums sitting down because Mz. Johnson had back pain. I promised I’d call him as soon as I could, and I was on the plane to go dance. I hoped the boyband I was dancing for was hot, because I wouldn't feel very comfortable dancing in some sort of frilly costume for guys with no hair or something. Unless they were Daughtry. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zayn knew I was a true Daughtry fangirl. Unlike Jake, who didn’t pay attention to my music taste. He’d even forgotten my birthday…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I knew Jake was busy with his job and helping his mums take care of his siblings. He should’ve remembered my 21st birthday, but he didn't. He was probably just stressed from school, work, and having to help his mum care for his four siblings and ill other mum. Mz. Johnson had been getting really sick lately, and Jake was worrying so much trying to help Mrs. Johnson look after his siblings and keep his family together. I couldn't blame him for choosing to keep his family together over remembering one day out of the year, even though he </span>
  <b>
    <em>knew</em>
  </b>
  <span> I would run away as soon as I had my skin back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The plane took off, and I looked out the window to watch as my fiancé and his family got smaller. I was off to my new life as a backup dancer. Hopefully I wouldn't forget my promise to be faithful while on tour, I don’t think Jake would like it if I left him; he might track me down and hurt me. I’d already tried to leave him a few times, and I hadn’t been successful. My family didn’t know he was abusive, and I hoped they never found out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Six hours later, the plane was landing and I was getting off with my bags. Six months without my fiancé. Six months of freedom, of not being afraid I’d be hit if I say something wrong. I really hoped the months would drag on so I could enjoy my time away from Jake.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Someone was waiting at the airport for me, holding up a sign with </span>
  <b>A IDRIS</b>
  <span> in big block letters. I walked over, and he nodded at me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m Paul Higgins, are you Anila Idris?” He asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That would be me. Are you here to take me to the band I’ll be backup dancing for?” I asked, and he nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Follow me, Ms. Idris.” He said, beginning to walk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please, call me Anila. Ms. Idris is too formal for me.” I said as we walked, and Mr. Higgins chuckled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Only if you call me Paul.” He said, and I smiled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure. Do you know who I’m dancing for? Signor Belacroft didn’t know, or he didn’t tell me.” I informed Paul, and the kind of tall man looked at me in confusion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You mean you don’t know?” He asked, and when I shook my head he sighed. “They were supposed to tell you before you flew here. You’re dancing for One Direction.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Those five words made me smile. I’d see Zayn again after nearly 5 years of not seeing him in person.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wonder if Zee remembers me.” I mused aloud, and Paul looked at me with raised eyebrows.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know Zayn?” He asked with a slight smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. We used to be best friends, but I haven’t seen him in years. He just got so busy, and I had to focus on my personal life…” I admitted, and Paul smiled as we got in a car.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Five</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>We soon arrived at a fancy hotel, and Paul led me to my room.</p><p>“There’s a dinner tonight for everyone on tour, wear something comfortable. You might be asked to dance, and you wouldn't want to hurt your feet in heels.” Paul advised before leaving me alone.</p><p>Something comfortable? Dancing? I knew exactly what to wear. As soon as I’d had a shower and gotten changed, I headed downstairs. I had both my scarves, but it might get really cold if we left the building.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>I’d made sure to run three times as much as I usually did this morning, to make up for not being able to do it as much now that I was part of the tour. I needed to eat something, considering Jake hadn’t let me eat anything last night or this morning and I hadn’t had anything on the plane. Dancing might take my mind off the hunger pain, but it wouldn't stop it. I needed to eat something soon, or I might pass out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Score! I spotted the buffet, and quickly got myself a plate of fruit salad, deviled eggs, a few slices of turkey ham, and some fish tacos. I went to find a table to sit at, and spotted Paul at a table with four boys… and Zayn. Paul saw me and waved me over, and I saw an empty seat between him and Zayn. The only empty seat at the table. He’d planned this the moment he’d found out Zayn and I were friends, didn’t he?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Boys, this is our newest dancer. Her name is-” Paul started to say, when Zayn and I locked eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anie?” He asked in shock, earning raised eyebrows from his mates.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Zee. Long time no see.” I smiled a little, feeling elated that he remembered me at all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The “Bradford Bad Boi” as he’d taken to calling himself, stood up and hugged me tightly. I hugged back, having missed my best mate more than anyone could know. I’d missed the things we used to do when we hung out, like play videogames, prank people, just talk about anything and everything, or use our gifts when we were alone. We’d even had a spot that was just ours, that we went to whenever we needed to hide or take a break from everything or wanted to use our gifts. I still went to it whenever everything got to be too much and I wanted to hide from Jake, and no one but me and Zayn knew about it. Not even Jake knew about it, and he liked to keep track of where I was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know. Almost 4 years without my best mate. I don’t know how I survived.” Zayn joked, and we chuckled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Best mate? Sure you two were never more than that?” The boy with kind of curly hair (Zayn had a crush on him and had told me his name but I couldn't remember it), wagged his eyebrows.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shut up brownie, we’ve never gone past being mates.” I retorted, and sat down between Zayn and Paul.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Brownie? Do you even know my name?” He asked, pretending to be offended.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I could really only remember Niall and Zee.” I shrugged with an innocent smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah buddy.” Niall grinned, and I chuckled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s only cause my uncle was Irish.” I shook my head with a smile, and Zayn frowned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Was? I thought Cieran was still kicking.” He said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought your ‘girlfriend’ gave you the message. I told her you were invited to the funeral, and she said she’d tell you.” I frowned, confused.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When was this?” Zayn asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Six months after you left.” I informed, and he frowned further.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was ‘single’ until a year after I left. Whoever picked up the phone lied to you.” He said, and I relaxed a little.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hadn’t meant to skip my uncle’s funeral. Zayn hadn’t meant to skip Uncle Cieran’s funeral. I’d been the only one in attendance, other than my umi, Baba, siblings, and a few strangers who claimed to have been his old school friends. It was there that I met the person who introduced me to Jake. It was there that my life started to become hell.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then you didn’t mean to skip it. Thank goshness, I thought you wanted nothing to do with me anymore.” I sighed in relief.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’d never want nothing to do with you. I can’t leave my best mate.” Zayn punched my shoulder playfully, and I smiled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You two seem extremely friendly for people who haven’t seen each other in years.” Paul teased.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ve known each other for… Hang on, I need to count.” I said, moving to count the years on my fingers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“At least 8 years.” Zayn offered, right as I got to twelve years.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nineteen and a half years.” I said after I was done counting, earning some raised eyebrows.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you two never..?” Niall trailed off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Never what?” I asked in confusion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The guy with green eyes facepalmed, along with Zayn’s crush and the other unknown guy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve always been too innocent for your own good.” Zayn chuckled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t understand, though. We never what?” I frowned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Never had sex.” Zayn said bluntly, and I felt my face flush.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not gonna do that with someone unless I trust them.” I said (making sure not to tell them that we </span>
  <em>
    <span>had</span>
  </em>
  <span> had sex), earning a smile from my best mate and impressed nods from the men at the table.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“See, this is why you’re the smart one in this friendship.” Zayn chuckled, and I raised an eyebrow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just as I was about to retort, my phone began to ring. I pulled it out of my purse, to see Jake was calling. My smile fell, but I forced it back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My fiancé’s calling.” I said, thinking about hitting ignore but being afraid of the consequences.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t seem very happy about it.” Zayn’s crush observed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I clicked ignore, and put my phone back in my purse.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am happy.” I lied, not wanting to talk about how I was scared of Jake and only with him because he had my skin somewhere.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Liar. What, is he a bad kisser?” Zayn teased.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, he’s not. He just… he’s Jake.” I tried to explain, feeling my phone buzz in my purse again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What does that mean?” Paul asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He gets jealous too easily, and he’s convinced that as soon as I get another chance I’ll leave him. His mums have tried to convince him I won’t.” I explained, and Green Eyes raised an eyebrow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mums?” He questioned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What? Some people have same sex parents.” I shrugged, unable to judge him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I’d been a bit confused in the beginning of mine and Jake’s relationship too, to be honest. I’d gotten used to him having two mums instead of a mum and dad, though. His mums were some of the kindest people I knew, and all five of their children had come from either one womb or the other. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jake was the oldest, then the twins Patrick and Lilly, then Vanessa, and then little Mark. Lilly and Patrick were thick as thieves, which was a surprise since twins usually didn’t like each other in my experience. Knowing how his family was, I couldn't understand how Jake had turned out jagged and abusive when the rest of his family was the opposite. He'd stolen my skin and trapped me in a relationship, but he couldn't make me love him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I wondered how Elise and Daniel were doing; I haven’t seen them in a few months.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Six</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Anyway, how have you been lately?” Zayn asked as I took a bite of my taco after finishing the turkey ham.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve been okay. Maria and Saraiah have been a big help.” I said once I’d swallowed, and Zayn’s obvious confusion at the new names made me want to laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maria lives a few streets over from me and goes to the same dance studio I do, and Saraiah is one of my friends in the studio.” I explained, and Zayn’s look of confusion left.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You replaced me with girls?” He said with mock hurt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Girls manlier than you.” I teased, earning laughter from the boys at the table.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anie, you can’t do this to me. I’ve got a reputation to uphold here.” Zayn said playfully, making me smile more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And it’s my job as your best mate to get rid of that reputation.” I said innocently, moving to take a bite of the fruit salad.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s pineapple in it.” Zayn warned before I got the fork to my mouth, and I sighed dramatically before putting the fork back on my plate.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And here I was hoping I’d actually be able to eat some fruit salad.” I pouted, and Zayn chuckled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If I knew you were going to be here I would’ve asked them to make some without.” He told me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you allergic?” The lead singer asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Unfortunately, yeah. Along with being allergic to chicken and mangoes.” I said sadly, and Niall gasped.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How do you live? Chicken is everything.” He said as dramatically as he could.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I live by not eating chicken. I kind of like breathing, thank you.” I replied, and Zayn grinned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re not taking you to Nando’s, then. Their entire menu is chicken.” Curly said, and Niall pouted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But how am I supposed to live then?” He asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dare you to try being vegetarian for the tour.” I said with a smirk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked like he was about to faint at the thought of only eating fruits and vegetables all tour, which made me and the boys laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t accept.” He said, and I raised an eyebrow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you not man enough?” I questioned, and Zayn smirked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Niall, are you really gonna let her question your manliness like this?” He asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Irish lad pouted, and I smiled as I finished my taco. The fruit salad had touched my other taco, so I couldn’t eat it even if I wanted to. I needed to find some other food so I could bring my blood sugar up. I felt close to pink, and that was bad.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anyone want the rest?” I asked, and Zayn took the plate.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine, I’ll be a leaf-eater for the tour.” Niall said, and I laughed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And I’ll make sure to join you so you aren’t alone.” I said to cheer him up, and it worked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait, that’s not fair. If Anie’s doing this vegetarian thing, I’m doing it too.” Zayn said, which made it to where three of seven at our table were going vegetarian for the tour.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait, why?” Curly asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because, Harry.” Zayn said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Didn’t you do that diet thing with me when I had chicken for the first time? The one where I wasn’t allowed anything high in carbs or fat and was only allowed clear liquids, which made me want to throw a table?” I asked, and Zayn chuckled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You were a real spitfire during that, but yeah. I couldn't let you do it alone.” He said with a smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I threw a vase once because I was told I couldn't have pie.” I said with a laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, you threw the knife because you were told no pie. You threw the vase because you were told you might get kicked off the footie team.” Zayn corrected, earning me some looks from the guys.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was a butter knife. And the vase didn’t break.” I said, and Zayn smiled again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Still, you were raging about how you couldn't just stop playing because the coach thought you were slacking.” Zayn grinned, and I grinned back.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Seven</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“You’re enthusiastic about footie.” Curly- Harry grinned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Footie is life, mate.” I replied, not telling them that I hadn’t been able to play since Jake came into my life a year ago.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I like her, she stays.” The unknown guy said with the brightest smile I’d ever seen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Louis, no. You can’t steal my mate, she’s mine.” Zayn said playfully, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Zee, I’m not yours, you’re mine.” I retorted with flushed cheeks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ooh, blushing.” The unknown guy- Louis teased, making my cheeks turn redder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Betcha you two would be great.” Harry teased, and Zayn removed his arm from my shoulders; I moved a little bit away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I would never cheat on Jake.” I said softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And I’m ‘with’ Perrie.” Zayn added.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The mood turned awkward, and I left to use the loo. Thankfully it was empty save for a few other girls, and I was able to do my business and get out of there quickly. The long hallway is where it all went wrong.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I didn’t see him until he grabbed my arm, his hand gripping right on the healing bruises that Jake had left this morning.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey there, sweet cheeks.” He leered at me, cold grey eyes looking provocatively at my chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let go of me.” I said, trying to tear my arm out of his grip.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now, don’t be like that.” He dragged me over to the side of the hallway, his grip tight enough to cause more bruising.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I said let go!” I struggled more, and heard the voice of my saviour.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is there a problem here?” Zayn asked, stepping into the hallway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, just my girlfriend being disagreeable.” The man said, still holding me tight enough to bruise.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She isn’t your girlfriend. Back off my mate.” Zayn ordered, but the guy only tightened his grip on my arm.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Eight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>I nearly cried out from the pressure on my skin, and saw Zayn clench his jaw.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I said, back. Off. My. Mate.” Zayn said in a deathly calm voice, and the man practically ripped my arm from its socket when he finally let go.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I stumbled into Zayn, and he wrapped his arms protectively around me as the man with cold grey eyes glared harshly at the two of us before stomping away. I turned and hid my face in Zayn’s shirt, my arm throbbing where that man had gripped it. He’d been gripping right where the bruises were still healing. I felt violated, even though I was used to people hurting me. My mother had been very abusive to me; I still couldn't be around people that looked like her without having a flashback or panic attack. Jake was more abusive than she’d been even when he was sober, but I couldn't get away from him without my skin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re okay now, I’ve got you.” Zayn murmured as he hugged me close, and I hugged back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He- he tried to- to-” I whimpered, and Zayn tensed a little before holding me closer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I won’t let anyone touch you like that, Anie. Promise.” Zayn said, and the two of us made our way back to the table.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Nine</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>My phone buzzed in my purse again, and I took it out once we were sat down.</p><p>A text from Jake, asking how my flight was.</p><p>
  <b>I: It was okay. I’ve got to focus now</b>
</p><p>He didn’t need to know about what that man would’ve done if Zayn hadn’t stepped in; considering he’d done the same thing, he would’ve told me I only got what I deserved. I put my phone away, relaxing a little as I talked with the guys and smiled; acting as if I hadn’t just been held against a wall by a stranger. It was easy to fake a smile, lie and say I’m fine; I’d had lots of practice. But Zayn knew me better than that; he was there for me when I’d had to go to school with bruises up and down my body under my clothes from my mother because she didn't have a second skin like me or Baba, he was there for me when we got the news Haris wasn’t coming home (I still didn't know if my brother had been trapped like I was now or if he was killed), he was there for me when it felt like everything was falling to pieces, he was there for me everytime I needed him when we were younger. Zayn was, is, and will always be my rock in this changing world.</p><p>“Texting your fiancé?” Louis guessed.</p><p>“Yeah. He wanted to know how my flight was.” I said, hoping they wouldn't pry.</p><p>“Who wants to play truth or dare when we get back to the hotel?” Harry suggested, and there were varied agreements.</p><p>Zayn knew me better than anyone. He would know if any of the boys were crossing a line while we played, even if it was unintentional.</p><p>“How’re your siblings, by the way?” Zayn asked.</p><p>“They’re doing well, according to my umi.” I murmured softly enough only he heard me.</p><p>My phone buzzed, and I checked it curiously before smiling.</p><p>
  <b>Umi: I miss you<br/></b>
  <b>Wonder Woman: I miss you too. How are you?<br/></b>
  <b>Umi: I’m doing good, the twins keep asking when they can visit you again. I really want to send them to spend the weekend with you or something, but I wanted to make sure it was okay with you first. And Abis keeps asking for you<br/></b>
  <b>Wonder Woman: Right now I’m on tour as a backup dancer, but I’ll try to Skype when I can<br/></b>
  <b>Umi: That’s wonderful, Nila. I’ve got to go now, Daniel wants to play FIFA. Love you :)<br/></b>
  <b>Wonder Woman: Love you too, Umi. Kick his bum for me alright? And tell Abis I’ll Skype when I can</b>
</p><p>I smiled as I sent the last text. My stepmum and I were on the best terms ever, despite what was considered normal for stepparents and stepchildren. She was my real umi, the only real umi I’d ever known that treated me as more than just a burden and punching bag; Zayn’s umi was the same way. It was really only my biological mother that hadn’t treated me the way a mother should treat their child.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Ten</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Who you texting?” Niall asked curiously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My umi. She said she and Danny are going to play FIFA, but that she hopes I’ll be able to Skype them when we have time.” I said happily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But your umi doesn’t have custody of them.” Zayn was confused.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My </span>
  <em>
    <span>mother</span>
  </em>
  <span> doesn’t have custody. My umi does.” I corrected, only earning more confusion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Louis asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My biological mother and I have never had a mother-daughter relationship. I have one with my stepmother, so I consider her my umi.” I explained, and the looks of confusion lessened.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How is she, anyway?” Zayn asked; I’d told him about my stepmum during phone calls.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She’s doing well. The twins miss me, apparently, which is why she texted me again. She wanted to know if it was alright for them to spend the weekend with me.” I smiled fondly, thinking of my little siblings.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I didn't mention Abisali, since Zayn didn't know about him yet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The twins?” Louis asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My little brother Daniel and little sister Elise. They can’t stand each other.” I chuckled a little at the memory of when Danny and I had gone into an all-out prank war against Umi and Ellie.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“D’you think they remember me?” Zayn asked hopefully, and I chuckled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You were their favourite of my mates, Zee. Of course they remember you, they even demanded I invite you to their next </span>
  <em>
    <span>mawlid</span>
  </em>
  <span> so they can see you again. They’ll be turning 18.” I smiled, and he grinned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I haven’t seen those </span>
  <em>
    <span>atfaal</span>
  </em>
  <span> in so long.” Zayn looked so happy, it made me smile more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know. Umi’s been asking when she can see you again and meet my </span>
  <em>
    <span>khtyb</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” (Fiancé) I said, a flush creeping up my neck that was visible around my scarf.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Louis was so confused, it made me and Zayn start laughing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry butchered the word as he tried to repeat it, which only made me laugh harder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“khtyb.” (Fiancé) Zayn corrected after he was done laughing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Still no idea what that means.” Zayn's crush said plainly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s Arabic for fiancé.” I explained, having regained my breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” Niall said, joining the conversation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, now you decide to join?” I accused playfully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just assumed it meant something, but didn’t want to be wrong.” He shrugged.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, for getting it right you get a </span>
  <em>
    <span>fatira</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” (pie.) I said with a smile, and Zayn pouted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why him and not me? I haven’t had one made by you in so long.” He said dramatically, making me laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What? I don’t speak Arabic.” Niall said in confusion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just know that you’ll love it.” I said vaguely, and only earned more confused looks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not fair that Niall gets one and I don’t. I’ve known you for years, he only met you today.” Zayn whined, and I laughed- until he took one of my scarves and made it look like a hijab on him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look, I’m Zarina.” Zayn said playfully, trying to look seductive.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Our entire table burst out laughing, me more so than the rest. My umi loved wearing clothes that accentuated her beauty, but Zayn’s impersonation was the funniest thing I’d seen since he left. I had </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span> sort of relationship with my best mate, a relationship where we could cheer each other up no matter how down we were. It was this sort of relationship that had kept me from having a relapse when everyone outside my family and Zayn’s had seemed to gang up on me again. All because I was a Muslim girl who had a very odd secret.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know you can’t work a </span>
  <em>
    <span>hijab</span>
  </em>
  <span> the way my umi does.” I teased, and Zayn pouted before taking it off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s not fair and you know it. No one can work a </span>
  <em>
    <span>hijab</span>
  </em>
  <span> like your umi.” Zayn pouted more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sounds like someone has a crush on their friend’s mum.” Zayn’s crush teased.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, shut up Liam.” Zayn narrowed his eyes slightly in a playful way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wow, I see how it is.” Zayn's crush- Liam, pouted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please, Zee’s a big softie.” I said with a smile, and grinned when the Bradford boy blushed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anie…” Zayn whined, hiding his flushed cheeks behind his hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not even here for a day and you’re already destroying his reputation.” Niall grinned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What can I say, I’m magical.” I smiled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah you are.” Zayn grinned, and I laughed at our inside joke.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Eleven</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>After the party, I went to my room and got changed into a simple crop top and shorts, and made sure I had my cover-up in case anyone came to my room door. I took off my scarves, and brushed my short hair until it was tangle-free. Once that was done, I removed the lipstick and eyeshadow from my face, and relaxed.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>I smiled as I got on my bed, relaxing into the softness. My phone pinged with a text, and I picked it up curiously.</p><p>
  <b>Jake🤢: Good night, Ila. I love you</b>
</p><p>Seeing that text made me wince. If Jake loved me, he wouldn't hurt me the way he did. If he loved me, he would let me go when I tried to leave him.</p><p>
  <b>I: Good night, Jake</b>
</p><p><em> I don’t love you </em> I didn’t text him.</p><p>I sighed at his terrible lying skills, plugging my phone in to charge while I slept. I needed to sleep so I was ready for dance rehearsal in the morning. Right as I curled up under the blankets to sleep, my phone pinged again. I picked it up, turning it on to see what it was.</p><p><b>🔥Zee🔥: Wanna come play truth or dare now?<br/></b> <b>❄️Anie❄️: Let me get dressed and I’ll be on my way</b></p><p>I slipped out of bed, buttoning my cover-up shut and getting a pair of flats on. Hopefully they wouldn't ask me to take off my cover-up, I didn’t want to wear something so revealing in a room full of guys.</p><p><b>🔥Zee🔥: Room 213, just down the hall<br/></b> <b>❄️Anie❄️: Stalker<br/></b> <b>🔥Zee🔥: Am not</b></p><p>I smiled as I made my way to room 213 and knocked. Zayn was the one who opened the door, and he smiled.</p><p>“Hey, there’s my best mate.” He said, pulling me into a hug and walking inside with me.</p><p>“Hey guys.” I smiled at the boys, and Niall grinned.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Twelve</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Your eyes aren’t brown.” Louis blurted, then blushed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you for that insight, Captain Obvious.” Zayn said dryly, making me chuckle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s something no one understands. I’m the only person in my entire family with green eyes.” I smiled, and Harry looked up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They look blue.” He said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zayn frowned, knowing what it meant when my eyes were blue. Dammit Harry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They’re green.” I replied, pointedly not looking at Zayn.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s get to the game.” Niall said, and we sat in a circle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So who goes first?” Liam asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me.” Harry, Louis, and Zayn said, then gave each other dirty looks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think we should let Anila go first, since she’s new.” Niall suggested, and the three boys pouted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know how to play.” I admitted, and four of the five gasped in shock.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s it, I’m going first then. Zayn, truth or dare?” Liam asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Truth..?” Zayn said, albeit a little hesitantly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who was your first kiss?” Liam asked, and I barely held in my snort.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ooh, Anila knows.” Louis grinned, and Zayn paled a little.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I chicken.” Zayn said quickly, and the boys looked to me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They were either drunk or high when it happened, so I don’t think it counts.” I shrugged, and Zayn sagged in relief.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait, Zayn or the girl?” Niall asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I snorted at his assumption Zayn’s first kiss was a girl. He looked at me pleadingly, silently begging me not to tell them his first kiss had been my brother. I wasn’t going to, both Haris and Zayn had begged me not to tell anyone after they figured out I’d seen them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Both, probably.” Louis guessed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anyway. Anie, truth or dare?” Zayn asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dare.” I said with a grin, knowing Zayn wouldn't push past any boundaries I had.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dangit, I had the perfect truth.” He pouted, and our group of six laughed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“C’mon bro, dare her.” Harry chuckled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I dare you to… lick Niall’s nose.” He decided, and Harry just burst out laughing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Zayn, why his nose of all places?” Louis asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I shrugged, leaning over and licking the side of Niall’s nose. He wiped it after, and the boys looked at me in confusion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You actually licked his nose.” Liam said, and I wrinkled my nose at the blonde boy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why is your skin so salty?” I asked, and the boys started laughing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of all things, that’s what you focus on?” Zayn said through his laughter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m pretty sure actual salt is on his face.” I said, wiping my tongue on a nearby napkin to get the taste out of my mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey.” Niall made a face at me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anyway, Harry, truth or dare?” I asked, thinking of one for each so I was prepared.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Truth.” He said, and I smiled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is Larry real.” I said with a mischievous grin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not in the way everyone seems to think.” He said, and I fist-pumped the air.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes! Emily owes me a hundred pounds!” I cheered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Louis looked at me in confusion, as did the other guys.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“One of the other dancers at the studio. She said you two were dating, I said you weren’t. Now she owes me a hundred pounds, because I was right and she was wrong.” I said, and Zayn chuckled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s never a good decision to bet against you, you never lose.” Zayn shook his head with a smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course I don’t, karma loves me.” I grinned.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Thirteen</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Liam, truth or dare?” Harry asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dare.” Liam said with a grin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Run around the lobby shirtless and scream that Niall stole your spoons.” Harry said, and the six of us laughed for a moment before Liam went to do the dare.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I got my phone out and began recording him, laughing as people stared at him, and some fans began screaming once they saw him shirtless.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And this is what happens when you play truth or dare with One Direction.” I said directly before ending the video and putting my phone away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you just record Liam?” Niall asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe, maybe not.” I smiled mischievously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Send it to me, I need blackmail material.” He said, and I promised to tomorrow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anie, your butt’s singing.” Zayn said with a straight face, and I realised my phone was ringing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I pulled it out to see it was my Baba, and smiled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My baba’s calling. Probably to check in and make sure I’m still alive.” I clicked answer and pressed it to my ear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“ ‘Anilana, 'asheur waka'anani lm 'asmae mink mundh shuhurin.” (Anila, it feels like I haven’t heard from you in months.) Baba greeted me dramatically.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hadha li'anah madaa shuhur, baba. Kayf hal kuli shay' hunak?” (That’s because it </span>
  <em>
    <span>has</span>
  </em>
  <span> been months, Baba. How’s everything over there?) I asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ladayna mashrue jadid fi almadinat ya kaydu. Bisarahat 'aftaqid aistadafatk.” (We’ve got a new project in the city, kiddo. I honestly miss having you around.) Baba said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hsnana, 'ana halyana fi balad akhar, lidha satudtur 'iilaa altaeawud ealaa edm alqudrat ealaa alqiadat libade saeat lirwyti.” (Well, I’m currently in another country, so you’re gonna have to get used to not being able to drive a few hours to see me.) I said with a smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“MADHA AW MA?!” (WHAT?!) Baba yelled, and I winced as I moved the phone a little bit away from my ear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“ ‘ANT IM TAHRUB MAE JIK LITATAZAWA!” (YOU DID NOT RUN OFF WITH JAKE TO GET MARRIED!) Baba yelled through the phone, and I winced a bit more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Niall and Zayn, the two who were close enough to hear, looked at me sympathetically.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once Baba was done yelling, I put the phone back to my ear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“lm 'ahrab mae jik, baba. ‘Ana raqis aihtiatiun lifarqat alsabii, wanahn halyana fi jawlat.” (I didn’t run off with Jake, Baba. I’m a backup dancer for a boyband, and we’re currently on tour.) I explained calmly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hasan.” (Good.) Baba sighed in relief.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Eilawat ealaa dhlk, 'ant taelam 'anani last min alnawe alharbi. Sayataeayn ealayh almusaeadat fi altakhtit lihafl zifaf haqiqiin lana, walays mjrd aikhtitafiin lihudur hafl zafafin.” (Besides, you know I’m not the eloping type. He’d have to help plan an actual wedding for us, not just kidnap me for a shotgun wedding.) I told Baba as we headed back upstairs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hal 'akhbarat Zyn bed?” (Have you told Zayn yet?) Baba asked with a knowing undertone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Qal lag madha?” (Told him what?) I was confused, and Niall was trying to eavesdrop.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I nudged him with my foot, and he went ahead of me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Earn abnik.” (About your son.) Baba clarified, and my face turned red.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“La 'aerif kayf 'atahadath eanha. ‘Urid faqat 'an yaerif 'abiasali walidih babana.” (I don’t know how to talk about it. I just want Abisali to know his father, Baba.) I admitted, before hanging up.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Fourteen</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“I feel like that last part had to do with Jake.” Louis said from behind me, making me jump in surprise and almost fall over.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Louis! Don’t sneak up on me like that!” I said, shoving my phone into the pocket of my cover-up quickly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Harry popped up behind Louis, making the blue-eyed Brit jump and fall down in surprise and me laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“KARMA!” I grinned and raced towards Zayn, who would hopefully let me hide behind him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He raised an eyebrow as I stood behind him, looking confused as he looked over to where Louis was on the ground.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What.” He said, and Niall turned around.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why is Lou on the floor?” Niall asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Karma loves me.” I replied, standing on tiptoe to look over Zayn’s shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why’re Lou and Harry confused?” Liam asked as he came back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Karma.” I shrugged, as if that was the only answer that mattered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The six of us made it the rest of the way to Zayn and Liam’s room, and continued our game of truth or dare.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I went to sleep that night thinking of Zayn and how he knew me so much better than my own fiancé. When I finally fell asleep, it was with a smile on my face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I woke up in the morning to my alarm (just a recording of me and Zayn singing together) at 6 AM on the dot, and got out of bed before getting dressed in a simple dress that Zayn had sent me a few years ago. I was surprised it still fit, but it was familiar and comforting. It wasn’t tainted with Jake’s touch.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>After I was dressed and my makeup was on, I put my flats and earrings on before leaving my room.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Fifteen</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>I walked downstairs to the little café they had in the hotel, and got a small hot chocolate to sip while I waited for the others to wake up. It was 6:15 now, and I really wanted to dance in preparation for the concert. Even though I should’ve been focusing on the fact this was the first full day where I couldn't just walk to Jake’s house or him to mine. He didn’t have a key, and I never told him where I kept the spare. I didn’t want him there when I was more than ten minutes away. I didn’t want Jake to taint one of the few places I felt safe from him.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Jake🤢: Babe where’s your key?<br/></b>
  <b>Ila: You’re not allowed in my place without me<br/></b>
  <b>Jake🤢: I’m sorry, I forgot</b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m not okay when I’m around you</span>
  </em>
  <span> I didn’t respond.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I knew for a fact he hadn’t forgotten, he just wanted to be in my house without me so he could taint it and remind me I was never free from him. I sat at a table and decided to wait for the others to wake up, ready to meet the rest of the backup dancers and start rehearsing. My phone pinged with a text from Zayn, and I immediately opened it.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>🔥Zee🔥: Morning Anie<br/></b>
  <b>❄️Anie❄️: Morning Zee<br/></b>
  <b>🔥Zee🔥: Louis just saw a very inappropriate sign. Wanna hear what it said?<br/></b>
  <b>❄️Anie❄️: Sure<br/></b>
  <b>🔥Zee🔥: I’m the 1, give me the D<br/></b>
  <b>❄️Anie❄️: You propositioning me, Malik? <br/></b>
  <b>🔥Zee🔥: The boys are looking at me weird because I’m laughing. This is your fault<br/></b>
  <b>❄️Anie❄️: You’re the one, want me to give you the D? <br/></b>
  <b>🔥Zee🔥: Anie! Don’t text me things like this! It’s too early to be laughing this much!<br/></b>
  <b>❄️Anie❄️: Your fault for giving me inappropriate comeback opportunities<br/></b>
  <b>🔥Zee🔥: This is Harry now, and damn are you an inappropriate lady<br/></b>
  <b>❄️Anie❄️: Tell me my contact name. Zee won’t and I wanna know<br/></b>
  <b>🔥Zee🔥: Zee again. Don’t make me laugh this hard this early ever again my face hurts now<br/></b>
  <b>❄️Anie❄️: Then come down to the cafe I’m bored<br/></b>
  <b>🔥Zee🔥: Wait. You’re already downstairs?! It’s like 6:30!<br/></b>
  <b>❄️Anie❄️: I usually get up at 4 Zee. This is sleeping in for me<br/></b>
  <b>🔥Zee🔥: ?!?!<br/></b>
  <b>❄️Anie❄️: Very eloquent<br/></b>
  <b>🔥Zee🔥: I’m heading down right now</b>
</p><p>
  <span>I chuckled as I put my phone down and sipped my hot chocolate, content to wait for my best mate to show up. He showed up maybe fifteen minutes later, along with the rest of the band. I waved to them, and grinned at how tired all of them but Liam seemed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Morning, Anila.” Liam greeted with a smile as Zayn sat next to me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Morning, boys.” I greeted back, and my phone pinged with a text from Umi.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Umi: Abis is being fussy<br/></b>
  <b>Wonder Woman: Try making him toast with cinnamon sugar. He loves it<br/></b>
  <b>Umi: I was thinking I could FaceTime you later so you can see him. Is that okay?<br/></b>
  <b>Wonder Woman: I’ll text you when I’m free for a while so you can. I miss my baby</b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Sixteen</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>I smiled as I put my phone away, and Zayn rested his head on my shoulder. I ran a hand through his messy locks, happy that he’d started growing his hair out again (even though it was longer than mine now). This was the Zayn I knew, the one that let me play with his hair, the one who would listen to me rant about anything, the one who was by my side when I needed him, the one who I could trust with all my secrets, the one who would hold me when I cried, the one who knew about my secret and trusted me with his, the one who took care of me when I went pink. This was </span>
  <em>
    <span>my</span>
  </em>
  <span> Zayn, not the famous one he was in front of the cameras. Not the Zayn he was when he was out in public with </span>
  <em>
    <span>Perrie</span>
  </em>
  <span>, the one who had made sure Zayn couldn't be even slightly </span>
  <em>
    <span>himself</span>
  </em>
  <span> in public. This was the Zayn who was the father of my son.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re touching his hair.” Harry stared at me in shock, and Zayn hummed in acknowledgement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You act like it doesn’t happen.” I smiled, and felt as Zayn relaxed against me while I messed with his curls.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because it doesn’t. The hairstylists barely get to touch his hair, and that’s what they’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>paid</span>
  </em>
  <span> to do.” Louis explained as Niall went off to get food.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I still had to tell Zayn about Abisali, about how my mother had almost made me lose him, and about how that time we got drunk </span>
  <em>
    <span>had</span>
  </em>
  <span> resulted in more than just naked cuddling. But not right now, it was too early. I didn’t know how to tell Zayn he was the father of my 3-yr-old son.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re thinking too hard.” Zayn mumbled, moving to pat my thigh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, you’re just not awake enough.” I retorted, grabbing my hot chocolate and taking another sip.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So should we just expect to find you two together whenever we can’t find you?” Liam asked as Niall came back with food.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Probably. We were inseparable before X-Factor, I see no reason for it to suddenly change just because we’re older.” I said, making sure not to shrug because it would’ve disturbed Zayn.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I got food. Anyone want some?” Niall said as he set the tray down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I took a plate of pancakes off the tray, deciding I needed to eat before I went and rehearsed with the other dancers; I didn’t want to go low so early into tour. Zayn reluctantly sat up and grabbed a falafel patty that was on a small stack.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, who wants to play Twenty Questions after rehearsal?” Louis asked, and Zayn and I made twin faces of distaste at that game.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Never again. Never, ever, </span>
  <em>
    <span>ever</span>
  </em>
  <span> again.” I said, shuddering slightly as Zayn sat up.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Seventeen</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“I’m assuming there’s a story behind that reaction?” Harry grinned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There is, but we’re not telling you.” I replied, and the four of them gave me and Zayn looks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ll find a way for you to tell us.” Liam decided, and I raised an eyebrow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>We talked for a bit longer, and I almost found a chance to tell Zayn about Abisali. I couldn't bring myself to tell him when the others were around, and I really only wanted him to have the chance to be a father to our son. He deserved to know that he was a parent, and he deserved the chance to be in our son’s life. I had to find a moment to be alone with him to tell him, to let him know the truth. It’s been 4 years coming, I should’ve told him as soon as I found out I was pregnant.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stop thinking so hard, Anie. Too early for that.” Zayn frowned at me, and I gave him my crooked smile; the one I reserved for Zayn and Zayn only.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not even Abisali got the crooked smile, and I cared about my son almost more than I cared about Zayn.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll stop thinking so hard when you start being a morning person, Zee.” I teased.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So never.” Liam said, and Zayn frowned more as he drank his coffee.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Too early to tease Zee. Maybe when he’s awake enough to defend himself.” I said, and Zayn nodded as he put his head back on my shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You two are touchier than Haz when he’s tired.” Louis remarked, and I chuckled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When we were younger we had to be physically separated to even go places where it was girls or boys only. Except for the bathroom, that was one where we understood boundaries.” I admitted, and the three of them minus Niall (who was busy eating) looked at us with raised eyebrows.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well then… we won’t have to do that now, will we?” Harry questioned, and Zayn and I looked at each other.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not sure yet. You might, you might not.” I said, and Zayn shrugged.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Eighteen</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Liam’s gonna be the one to separate you if we have to.” Louis decided, and Liam made a face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why me?” He said, then took a sip of his coffee.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because you’re the maturest. And you won’t make a big fuss of us being attached at the hip.” Zayn replied with a yawn.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You need more coffee, I don’t think you should be allowed to make up words.” I joked to him, and my best friend made a face at me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No room to talk, Anie. You do it too.” He muttered, reaching for a cup of coffee.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re not awake enough for this conversation, Zee.” I chuckled and took another sip of my hot chocolate.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After breakfast, I went to my room to get dressed for dance rehearsal. My phone rang with a call from my son, and I picked it up immediately.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, baby.” I greeted him, pressing the phone to my ear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Umi, when home?” Abisali asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you try full sentences for me, jaan?” I asked him, and he huffed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“ ‘Awmi, 'uriduk 'an taeud 'iilaa almanzil.” (Umi, want you to come home.) He told me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“ ‘Ana 'aeruf. ‘Atamanaa 'an 'aeud 'iilaa almanzil fi eid almilad, wa'iidha lm 'akun sa'aeud 'iilaa sakayb.” (I know. I’ll be home for Christmas hopefully, and if I’m not we’ll Skype.) I replied.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hal sayakun 'abi huna fi eid almilad ya 'uwmi?” (Will Abi be here for Christmas, Umi?) Abisali asked, and I sighed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Abisali, la 'aerif hataa alan ma 'iidha kan 'abi alkhasi bik la ymkn 'an yakun hunak fi eid almilad. ‘Iinah mashghul hqana wala yaerif eank baed. 'ueadak bi'an 'akhbarah fi 'asrae waqt mumkinin.” (Abisali, I don't know if your abi can't be there for Christmas. He's really busy, and he doesn't know about you yet. I promise I'll tell him as soon as I can.) I told him, and my son sighed dramatically before handing the phone to my younger half-brother.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How’s my favourite sister doing?” Daniel asked, and I laughed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m doing good, Danny. How’ve you been with your twin?” I replied with a smile, leaving my room after getting changed and continuing to small talk with my brother.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ellie wants to talk to you, but so does Ma. Which one do you want first?” Daniel asked, avoiding answering my question, as I reached the stairs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pass me to Ellie, I haven’t talked to her since before I left.” I said, beginning the walk down the four flights of stairs to meet the rest of the dancers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nila, Mama said that Dad said that Abis said that you might bring Zeezee over for Christmas. Are you really going to finally tell him about Abis?” Ellie asked excitedly, and I laughed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m hoping to find a way to, yeah. You’ve been behaving, right? No little Ellie monsters coming out of hiding?” I joked as I reached the second flight of stairs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m 17, sis. You should be talking to your son about behaving, he made a mess in the kitchen while trying to help make cookies.” My little sister tattled, and I chuckled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pass me to Umi, I’ll deal with my son later.” I smiled as I got to the ground floor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anila Diana Idris, you better have a good reason for choosing to talk to your moody teenage sister before your own stepmother.” Umi jokingly scolded me, and I laughed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I haven’t talked to her since before I left, Umi. I talk to you all the time, and I miss talking to my ‘moody teenage sister’ as you put it.” I chuckled before having to say goodbye and hang up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I got to the other dancers, and smiled as the eight of us got in two vans and made our way to where we were going to rehearse. This was what I’d always wanted to do with my life, dance and feel free the way I did before everything changed. Before Haris died, my parents divorced, and I was left to live with an abusive mother until I was fourteen. Before Zayn left when him and I were seventeen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I pushed thoughts of that woman out of my mind, and held onto the fact that I had Zayn with me again.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Nineteen</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>After dance rehearsal was over, I found the boys playwrestling in one of the breakrooms and smiled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anie!” Zayn grinned as he caught sight of me, and I laughed as I walked in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Zee.” I sat next to him, and Harry looked at me like he’d only just realised I was a girl.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Haz, I get you’re a bit slow sometimes, but Anila is indeed a woman.” Louis joked, and something in those green eyes made me laugh with the others just a second or two late.</span>
</p><p><span>Harry looked like he’d figured out I was the mother of Zayn’s son (which had to be impossible), and I had to make sure he wouldn't tell on me to any of the band if he </span><em><span>had</span></em><span> figured it out. I still had to find a way to tell Abisali his father might not be part of the family. I wanted Zayn in my son’s life, even if I didn’t know how to tell him about our son without breaking him and his</span> <span>fake girlfriend apart.</span></p><p>
  <span>My phone rang with a call, and the grin I’d just had from a joke Zayn had told me in Arabic fell completely from my face when I saw it was Jake calling. Zayn looked over my shoulder, and raised an eyebrow. He hadn’t seen my face, but the others had.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You should probably answer, Anie. Your fiancé’s calling, and even I wouldn't keep Perrie waiting.” He said, and I forced a smile back onto my face for when I looked at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It felt like plastic stretched across my face, and Zayn almost saw through it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll leave the room then. Jake’s…” I trailed off, struggling to find the right word as I stood up and left the room.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Twenty</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>I could feel the eyes of the four men who weren’t Zayn, staring after me in puzzlement. I walked down the hallway until I was about five feet from the door, then answered my fiancé who I didn’t love.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi, Jake.” I said as I put the phone to my ear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Jake.” A woman on the other end moaned, and I froze.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Who was she, and why was she moaning his name?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jake? Who’s that with you?” I asked, my voice trembling a little.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, take that. You like it when I talk dirty to you?” Jake groaned out, and my eyes welled up with tears.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jake, this isn’t funny. You- you shouldn’t play pranks like this on me. Y- you’re not a cheater.” My voice cracked on the last word, and suddenly someone was hugging me from behind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The familiar tan arms made me think it was Zayn, but the arrow tattoos let me know it was Liam. I wanted to hang up on Jake, to stop hearing the moans as my abusive fiancé was with another woman, but it was like a train wreck. I couldn't hang up, couldn't stop hearing him cheat on me with some random woman.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I should’ve been smarter about where I hid my skin so he didn't find it again. Liam was still holding me when someone gently pulled my phone from my hand, and I looked up through teary eyes to see it had been Louis.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The three of us went back in the room, and Louis handed my phone to Zayn while I numbly sat next to him again. Even if I didn’t love Jake, I would never have even thought of cheating on him while I was with him; that was only because as much as I despised Jake, I was terrified of him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Niall or Harry had shut the door to the breakroom, and Zayn knew what it was I needed. He put Jake on speaker, and the sounds of him and the woman played into the room, her moaning his name and him groaning and grunting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>My tears fell, and Zayn pulled me into his arms. I buried my face in his shirt, staining it with my makeup as I let the tears fall from my eyes.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Twenty-One</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Damn, Perrie, you’re amazing.” Jake sounded breathless through the phone, and suddenly Zayn was frozen as I held onto him like a lifeline.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jake, you know you don’t have to compliment me every time. Be glad Zayn doesn’t know I’m using him, or he’d drop the PR and we wou-” Someone hung up my phone, disconnecting the call as my tears fell faster.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was a good while later that I could look up and not feel the need to cry again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I- I know I didn’t love Jake, but… but I wouldn't have done this to him.” I mumbled, and Zayn held me closer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anie.” Zayn whispered, and I knew what he meant by that one word.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Zanant 'anani wajik sawf natazawaj, 'aw 'anani sa'astaeid bisharati minh wa'ahrab.” (I thought me and Jake would get married, or that I'd get my skin back from him and get away.) I said, my voice slightly hoarse from the crying.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sanastaeid bishartak minh, Ani. 'Uedik.” (We'll get your skin back from him, Anie. I promise.) Zayn assured, and I nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I realised that the others had left the room at some point while I was crying, left me and Zayn alone. Giving the two of us some privacy. Letting us realise that our significant others didn’t love us, that they would rather be with each other than us.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Im ‘uhabiha.” (I didn’t love her.) Zayn admitted to me softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bialtabe lam tafeal, 'ant shadh.” (Of course you didn't, you're gay.) I said, giving a watery laugh that Zayn echoed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“ Anilana, yjbu 'an tatrakah. 'Iinah yuadhiyk 'akthar min mjrd khidae wasariqat bashartik. ‘Ana 'uerifik.” (Anila, you need to leave him. He's hurt you, more than just cheating and stealing your skin. I know you.) Zayn told me, and I pulled away slightly.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Twenty-Two</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>For a moment Zayn thought I was pulling away to leave the room, but his eyes softened in understanding as he used one of his gifts to know. I was going to show him he was right. I rolled my sleeves up, and pulled some makeup remover from my pocket. Zayn’s eyes widened slightly as with each stroke of the makeup wipes, my skin was shown to not be the tan caramel colour Zayn and I shared, but healing shades of bruise yellow and green and some that were still blue-black.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Anie.” Zayn’s eyes filled with tears, and he hugged me tightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was scared of him, Zee. I still am, and I can’t do it. I can't do it anymore. I’m afraid of what he might do to Abisali.” I said, not realising until it was too late that I’d mentioned our son.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Abisali?” Zayn questioned, his hand rubbing up and down my back soothingly; I relaxed into the familiar touch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I didn’t tell him yet, feeling like we’d been given enough surprises for today.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The door opened, and I looked up to see the boys peek in. Once they saw we’d talked things out and were just sitting with each other now, they walked in. The bruises on my arms were in between mine and Zayn’s bodies, so the guys couldn't see them. I was still in Zayn’s arms, being held by him and knowing he wouldn't let anyone hurt me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Zyn, ladaya shay' akhar 'akhbarak bih.” (Zayn, I have something else to tell you.) I whispered, knowing he heard me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ma hdha” (What is it?) He asked, still running his fingers through my hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jyk, hw- hw-” (Jake, he- he-) I couldn't get the rest of the words I needed to out, but Zayn understood and held me tighter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sawf aqtulaha. Sawf aqtulh sakhif lamisk.” (I'll kill him. I'll fucking kill him for touching you.) Zayn swore, and I relaxed into him more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Zyn, la tafeal. min fadlik, 'iinah la yastahiqu dhalik. Faqat li'anani aietaqadat 'anah 'ahbni la yaeni 'anani 'ahbibth.” (Zayn, don't. Please, he's not worth it. Just because I thought he loved me doesn't mean I loved him.) I told him softly, and Zayn kissed my forehead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m still not letting him get away with doing this to you, Anie. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Any</span>
  </em>
  <span> of this.” He swore softly, and the other four in the room looked at us in confusion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What? Who did what to Anila?” Liam asked, and Zayn let go of me enough for me to show them the healing bruises on my arms.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Twenty-Three</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The gasps let me know they’d seen them, and I put my arms back between me and Zayn after rolling my sleeves down, holding onto him lightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who the fuck hurt you?” Liam asked with venom in his voice, but I could tell they knew as much as I did exactly who it was that had hurt me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why did you stay with that fucker for so long if he hurt you?” Louis demanded, and Zayn tightened his hold on me imperceptibly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because I’d tried to leave before, and it got me sent to the hospital every time.” I said quietly, but knew they’d heard me when suddenly I was being developed in a group hug.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>One of the four who weren’t Zayn or me was crying, and their tears got my dress damp. Zayn continued running his fingers soothingly through my hair, and I held onto the comfort I was being given.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anie, I’m not letting you go back to him. Not after what he’s done to you.” Zayn told me, and I relaxed into him further.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I tried to get a restraining order against him after the second time I left. He called in his biological father to make sure it didn’t go through. His father’s a lawyer, Zee.” I said softly, and Zayn immediately understood.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As long as Jake was able to contact his father, he could steal my skin and continue to hurt me. The only way to get me away from him would be to get more lawyers on our side involved or for me to give my skin to someone to hold. And Zayn knew exactly how, considering he’d been the one who had helped get lawyers to shift custody for me from my mother to my baba and umi.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Twenty-Four</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“The twins are turning 18 in two months, Anie. Are we celebrating at the park like we used to?” Zayn bluntly changed to a safer topic.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Either the park or Umi’s place.” I affirmed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The only question I have is are we invited?” Louis asked, looking at me hopefully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Honestly, if you find out where I live you can show up to celebrate with us. Fair warning though, Daniel’s discovered he’s gay. And he’s got the biggest fan crush ever on a certain blue-eyed boy.” I was able to smile through the tears, and three of the band looked at their two blue-eyed bandmates.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is it me or Louis?” Niall asked, blushing at the thought of my brother having a crush on him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Honestly, I don’t know at this point. Though I have heard him and Elise fighting over the two of you.” I smiled as both Louis and Niall turned redder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Damn. Who’s gonna protect poor Nialler from the twins?” Louis asked, not even worried about himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Honestly, they’ll protect you both from themselves. The twins aren’t subtle, but they never make the first move. Daniel’s too shy and Elise hates pressuring people.” I chuckled, and Zayn kissed my temple after wiping at a teartrack on my face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“ln takun whydana abdana.” (You’ll never be alone.) Zayn told me softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sa’akun maeak.” (I’ll be with you.) I smiled, our years-old promise still standing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Min alghusq hataa alfajr.” (From dusk till dawn.) Zayn continued, and the others looked at us in confusion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sa'ahtadink eindama tasaw' al'umur.” (I’ll hold you when things go wrong.) I mumbled against his shoulder, and Zayn smiled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sa'akun hunak eindama takun bimufradik.” (I’ll be there when you’re on your own.) He whispered in my ear, and I laughed softly at how it tickled before continuing the promise two 11-yr-olds had made ten years ago.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sa'umsik yadak fi alzalam.” (I’ll hold your hand in the dark.) I murmured to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sa'uqatil min 'ajlik eindama la tastatie alwuqufa.” (I’ll fight for you when you can’t stand.) Zayn finished, then kissed my forehead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Harry asked, and Zayn and I laughed before turning to them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just making sure mine and Zee’s promise still stands… which I just realised sounds like wedding vows.” I started giggling, and Zayn started laughing with me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re right, they do sound like wedding vows when you think about it.” Zayn got out through his laughter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What.” Liam said, and Louis snickered a little.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. Twenty-Five</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“So who wants to help get Anila’s fiancé out of the way?” Niall asked, and I laughed at the unintentional reference.</p><p>“If Jake is Hans and I’m Ana, does that make Zee Kristoff?” I asked, and earned three confused looks and two amused ones.</p><p>“Did you just relate our situation to <em> Frozen </em>?” Zayn chuckled.</p><p>“Wait, but Ana and Kristoff got together…” Liam looked confused.</p><p>“Yeah, but Kristoff also helped Ana get away from Hans.” I added on to his words.</p><p>“Wait, then which one of us is Sven and Olaf?” Liam asked.</p><p>“Niall’s Olaf, obviously. As for Sven, that can be decided later.” I chuckled, and the Irishman looked confused.</p><p>“Who’s Olaf?” He asked, earning gasps from me and Liam.</p><p>“He did <em> not </em> just say that.” I told Liam seriously, my eyes wide.</p><p>“He did.” He nodded solemnly, and the three who were clueless about the reference gave me and Liam looks like we were crazy.</p><p>“Well, looks like we’re watching <em> Frozen </em> tonight.” Zayn said, and I nodded.</p><p>I was still in his arms, and crying had made me tired.</p><p><br/>That night I took off the ring Jake had gotten me. I never felt comfortable wearing it in the first place, it was too flashy and big and just looked <b> <em>wrong</em> </b> on my hand. Even if I was terrified of what Jake would do, I wanted it off and <b>away </b>from me.</p><p>
  
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. Twenty-Six</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Two days after I had found out Jake had cheated on me with Zayn’s fake girlfriend even though I had no way of leaving him without my skin, I was on my hotel room balcony with a guitar in hand after the sun had set. I’d learned it after Zayn had left, as something to pass the time when I was still pregnant and not allowed to do stuff. I was strumming some chords, and began to sing softly.</p><p>“<em> ♫You've been acting awful tough lately<br/></em><em>Smoking a lot of cigarettes lately<br/></em><em>But inside, you're just a little baby<br/></em><em>It's okay to say you've got a weak spot<br/></em><em>You don't always have to be on top<br/></em><em>Better to be hated <br/></em><em>Than loved for what you're not</em></p><p>“<em> ♫You're vulnerable, you're vulnerable<br/></em><em>You are not a robot<br/></em><em>You're lovable, so lovable<br/></em><em>You're not just troubled</em></p><p>“<em> ♫Guess what I'm not a robot, a robot<br/></em><em>Guess what I'm no- </em>” I stopped singing when I heard the balcony door slide open, and looked up to see the amazed looks of the band, and Zayn’s grin.</p><p>“You can sing?!” Liam looked shocked, and I moved my guitar to behind my back with a sheepish smile.</p><p>“You can play guitar.” Niall seemed impressed.</p><p>“You can write songs?!” Harry looked bewildered.</p><p>“Why did you hide it?” Louis asked.</p><p>“Um… Yes, yes, and I didn’t mean to.” I answered the questions with a blush.</p><p>“We’ve got to get Simon to hear you, you’re amazing.” Niall said, and my smile dropped a little.</p><p>“I can’t do the fame thing like you guys can. I can’t handle having that much attention on me.” I said, telling a half-truth.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0027"><h2>27. Twenty-Seven</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It was true I didn’t like having attention on me, but the reason I couldn't become famous like them was because I had Abisali. The paparazzi couldn't find out about him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anila, you can’t possibly think people won’t appreciate your obvious talent.” Louis said, and I looked away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’d be surprised at what people say when you’re different, Louis.” I said softly, and Zayn’s expression darkened a little.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Which one of those bitches has been bullying you again?” He asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s nothing, Zee. I just- you know how long they treated me like that…” I trailed off, and Zayn relaxed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you need to stop letting them affect you, Anie. You have an amazing voice, you’re incredibly talented, and you deserve to have people know how awesome you are.” Zayn said, taking a seat next to me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wrapped an arm around my shoulders.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t tell me, I know what you’re gonna say.” I raised an eyebrow and smiled at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Liam looked at the two of us confused.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anie shouldn’t be out here in just a tank top and shorts.” He gave me a look.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t be out here naked, and you know how clothes feel this close to the ocean, Zee.” I shrugged, and Zayn sighed as the others left to their own rooms.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0028"><h2>28. Twenty-Eight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Anie, you need to keep your secret better.” Zayn said, his too-warm arm around my shoulders.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Zee, I’m- I’m scared that when I take it back from Jake this time, he’ll- he’ll kill me.” I confessed softly, the guilt of not telling him about our son still eating me up inside.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zayn kissed my forehead, and hugged me close to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t worry, Anie. I’ll be right by your side. I won’t let that bastard hurt you.” Zayn said softly, and I leaned into his touch as my best friend and the father of my child held me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Promise?” I whispered, my voice small as he held me close.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m the mother of your son</span>
  </em>
  <span> I didn’t say.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pinky promise.” Zayn smiled, linking our pinkies together; I crossed my fingers on my free hand where he couldn’t see, knowing I wouldn't let him put himself in danger like that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Give me twenty minutes first, Zee. If I’m not out at the end of it, get Abisali and his skin and </span>
  <em>
    <span>run</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” I murmured, knowing he heard me when he held me tighter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anie, I can’t do that. I can’t let you go in there knowing he’ll hurt you.” Zayn frowned, and the two of us went inside my room with my guitar.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stay with me tonight?” I asked quietly, moving to get some pajamas from my suitcase to change into.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course, just let me go get some pajamas.” Zayn kissed my forehead, and left the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I quickly got changed into my pajamas, a somewhat long-sleeved light blue top with a pair of matching fuzzy pants that Zayn had sent me for Christmas. I put my guitar back in its case and sat on the bed to wait for him after taking my blood sugar and a glucose tablet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zayn came back to the room, his pajamas in hand. He smiled at me, then went into the bathroom to change into his pajamas. He came out a moment later, wearing them with his previous clothes in hand. He set them on the nightstand, and sat on the bed next to me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zayn held me close, pulling me against him as he pulled the blankets over us.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0029"><h2>29. Twenty-Nine</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>I curled into his touch, the sense of being </span>
  <b>
    <em>safe</em>
  </b>
  <span> and </span>
  <b>
    <em>home</em>
  </b>
  <span> that I always felt with Zayn coming back for the first time in almost five years. I always felt safe with Zayn, and relaxed as he wrapped his arm around my waist.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You haven’t worn the headband lately.” There was curiosity, and worry in his voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The headband gave me a smaller sense of the feeling of being home Zayn did. I needed it to feel like I was </span>
  <em>
    <span>safe</span>
  </em>
  <span> with Jake around. It also helped me focus my gift.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jake hid it,” I confessed softly, and felt as Zayn pulled me closer protectively. “I haven’t been able to find it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What about...?” He asked softly, as though someone might hear us.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know how it makes me feel when people see me use it.” I murmured in response, and Zayn ran his hand down my side in apology.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It makes you special, Anie. Allah gave you a gift.” He kissed my cheek, then laid back down and held me close.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>My gift… the ability to </span>
  <em>
    <span>summon</span>
  </em>
  <span> things from otherwhere and levitate them in the air, among other things. The first time it had happened, Zayn and I had been four. We had been put in a playpen together, and I had wanted my stuffed lion that had been upstairs. Baba had been shocked when he came to check on us, and Zee and I had been cuddling with my lion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I didn’t know if Abisali had inherited my gifts or Zayn’s, and I wasn’t sure if I’d be relieved or not if he </span>
  <em>
    <span>had</span>
  </em>
  <span> inherited either of our gifts, or if he’d inherited both. My son- mine </span>
  <em>
    <span>and Zayn’</span>
  </em>
  <span>s son, was my baby boy. I wanted to see him grow, wanted him to know both his parents, wanted him to grow up with both me and Zayn in his life…</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0030"><h2>30. Thirty</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>I woke up in the morning with a start, my chest feeling tight and Zayn holding my sleeve-covered wrists in his hands. I couldn't breathe right, and my vision was swimming in and out of focus.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Breathe, Anie. Breathe with me, Windy.” Zayn told me once he saw my eyes were open, and I tried to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Count with me. Can you do that for me? You remember how the numbers go, Windy. Five, nine, seven, twelve, three, ten.” He told me softly and slowly, rubbing my back as he let go of one of my wrists and pulled me close.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I mentally recited the numbers, and felt my chest loosen a little. It was still too tight, but it was a bit more bearable now. My vision was more in focus than out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Five, nine, seven, twelve, three, ten.” I whispered the numbers slowly as Zayn said them with me, feeling my body relax and my chest loosen further.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There we go, Anie. There you are.” Zayn murmured as the panic attack subsided, and I relaxed in his arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wanna tell me what the nightmare was about?” He asked after I was calm, and I curled into him in response.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jake was in it. So were you, and Abisali.” I whispered, and he pressed a kiss to my forehead as the two of us sat on the bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll protect you and whoever Abisali is, promise.” Zayn murmured, and I listened to his heartbeat to ground myself further.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m scared, Zee. I’m really scared.” I mumbled, and he ran his fingers through my short hair.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0031"><h2>31. Thirty-One</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“You wanna do the magic, Anie? It’ll make you feel better.” Zayn kissed my forehead, and I nodded against his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Promise you won’t laugh? I haven’t done it in a while.” I responded quietly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I hadn’t done the magic since four and a half months before the tour. It was itching under my skin to be used, to be let out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cross my heart.” He swore.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I opened my hand loosely, held palm up in front of me and Zayn. I focused on that particular part of the gift inside of me, and relaxed as whisps of glowing light gathered in my hand. The magic was only visible if I wanted it to be. The reason I was making it visible was because Zayn liked the way the magic looked, like a glowing flower blossoming in my hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Still so beautiful.” Zayn murmured, his eyes on the magic in my hand with an admiring gaze.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ssh, let me focus.” I whispered, a giggle in my voice as the sight of my gift soothed me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I closed my eyes, envisioning my phone that was on the table in the kitchen area the hotel gave me. I opened my eyes again when I felt it nearer, and smiled as I saw it fly slowly through the air until it was floating above my palm. I lost my concentration when there was a knock at the door, and my phone fell into my hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zayn got off the bed with a kiss to my forehead, and went to answer the door. I slipped off the bed, knowing that the reason I felt more relaxed was because I’d used my gift.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Morning, Louis.” Zayn said as he opened the door, and I smiled as I walked into the bathroom to relieve myself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You stayed the night with Anila?” I could hear the smirk in his voice.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0032"><h2>32. Thirty-Two</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I washed my face and smiled at the mirror, noting that my eyes were bright green rather than dull blue today. It was one of the effects of the magic; the longer between the times I used it the bluer my eyes were, and if I had just used it like this morning my eyes would be bright vivid green. It also let my family and Zayn’s know how long it’d been since I’d used my gift. I relaxed, and picked my phone up off the counter.</p><p>
  <b>Wonder Woman: Umi, can you tell Abis I say morning to my baby boy please?</b>
</p><p>Her reply came quickly, and I smiled softly.</p><p>
  <b>Umi: He says hi to his umi. Have fun dancing :)<br/></b>
  <b>Wonder Woman: I will. Have a good day, and make sure you take a break if you need one :)</b>
</p><p>I set my phone down, and brushed my teeth before I did my business. I washed my hands, then left the bathroom with my phone. I loved my son, and I needed to find a way to tell Zayn about him.</p><p>“Still tired, the attack took lot outta me.” I mumbled, and Zayn sighed as he wrapped an arm around me.</p><p>Zayn smiled, and left to go get dressed for the day.</p><p>He came back when I was dressed in a dark red top and some jeans with the boots he’d sent for my birthday, and I felt like it was past time to tell him about Abisali.</p><p>“Zee, I have something I need to tell you.” I said softly, and he blinked at me in confusion.</p><p>“What is it, Anie?” Zayn asked, and I took a deep breath to steel myself.</p><p>“Abisali is-” I started to say, but one of the boys knocked on the door.</p><p>“Hey, Zee? You and Anila ready to come down to eat?” Liam asked after Zayn opened the door.</p><p>“Yeah, just a minute.” Zayn smiled, then turned back to me.</p><p>I gave a small smile.</p><p>“What was it you wanted to tell me, Anie?” He asked, and I shook my head.</p><p>“It can wait a little longer, Zee.” I knew the smile I gave him was sad, but it was the best I could do when Liam had interrupted me telling Zayn about our son.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0033"><h2>33. Thirty-Three</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It went on for another month and a half. I find a moment to tell Zayn about Abisali, I almost get the words out, then someone interrupts or Zayn’s called to do his popstar job or I’m called to rehearse. I FaceTimed Abisali and my family, I ignored half of Jake’s calls and all of his Skype requests, and I rehearsed for each concert with the other dancers. I was getting frustrated, there was four and a half months left of tour, I’d tried several times to tell Zayn he was a father but something always interrupted me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Currently Zayn had his arm around my waist while the two of us were at a club with the other boys. I’d assured Zayn I was fine to go with them, but he made sure to keep me close to him anyway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aiqtirb.” (Come closer.) Zayn said softly as some guy glanced at my rear provocatively, his words slurred a little from the high the club was giving both of us (being around a lot of high-energy people did that to both of us).</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I let him pull me closer to his side, my short hair loose in the thick waves Zayn had liked to play with when we were younger. I felt safer pressed to his side than with his arm loosely around my waist.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hal yumkinuna alkhuruj min ajl aistirahat dkhan?” (Can we go outside for a smoke break?) I asked, needing some fresh air with how energised the club was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zayn nodded, and he let Liam know the two of us were heading outside for a bit. As soon as we were outside I was hit with how cold it was, being almost eleven at night and fall (it was the wrong kind of cold, I didn't have my second skin and I wasn't in the water). I shivered in my club outfit, realising I should’ve gone with thicker clothing. Zayn noticed I was getting cold and wrapped his jacket around me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders so people wouldn’t get any ideas.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yjb 'an tartadi mulabis 'akthar samakana, Anie.” (You should wear thicker clothing, Anie.) Zayn said, and I responded by pulling his jacket tighter around me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>We just needed a bit of skin-to-skin contact and he could know everything, but I didn’t want to do that out here in the open. When we were alone, or in the hotel. Somewhere where Zayn could find some alone time to process that he had a son.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hal yumkinuni 'an 'amsik yadak lahqana? Laqad sayimat min muhawalat 'iikhbarik walmuqataeat.” (Can I hold your hand later? I’m tired of trying to tell you and being interrupted.) I mumbled, and knew Zayn understood when he squeezed his arm a bit tighter around my waist.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bialtaakid. Hal turid miniy aistikhdam hadyti?” (Of course. Do you want me to use my gift?) He asked, and I nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“ ‘Ana faqat 'uriduk 'an tuearif alhaqiqat ya shamsa.” (I just want you to know the truth, sun.) I said softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>We went back inside after a few more minutes of breathing in the cold air, and I kept Zayn’s jacket around me.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0034"><h2>34. Thirty-Four</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>We were back at the hotel, and I was waiting for Zayn to come to my room so he could use his gift to finally know the truth about Abisali. My phone rang, and I felt my heart sink as I saw it was Jake calling.</p><p>I needed to end things, but I had to do it in person so I could grab my skin and run. I couldn’t let him try to find me if I did it over the phone, because then he might find out about my son. I had to protect Abisali from him at all costs.</p><p>“Hi.” I answered reluctantly.</p><p>“I’m coming to see you.” Jake said, and I felt a rush of fear at those five words.</p><p>I couldn’t let him near me, he’d get us alone and then he’d hurt me.</p><p>“That’s not necessary, Jake.” I tried to dissuade him.</p><p>“I already bought the ticket, babe. I’ll see you in four weeks.” Jake hung up, and I felt tears fill my eyes and begin to fall down my face.</p><p>Jake was coming here in four weeks. I was supposed to have four and a half months left before I had to see him. I had to tell the boys before Jake found a chance to get us alone.</p><p>
  <b>❄️Anie❄️: I have to tell you and the boys something Z<br/></b>
  <b>🔥Zee🔥: I’ll bring them to your room in a few minutes. Keep your head up, Windy</b>
</p><p>I was reassured slightly, and seeing that ages old nickname was enough to calm me down a little. I could find another time soon to tell Zayn about our son. Jake was coming, and I hadn’t worn the horribly gaudy ring he’d gotten me since the day I found out he was cheating. I’d get hit by him if he saw me without that godawful ring on.</p><p>“Anie, we’re here.” Zayn said after knocking on the door.</p><p>I walked over and opened it, and knew immediately when Zayn saw the teartracks on my face. He pulled me into a hug, wrapping his arms tight around me.</p><p>“What’s wrong, Windy?” He asked softly.</p><p>“J- Jake called me. He’s coming in four weeks.” I got out before I started crying again, and felt as the boys joined in on the hug.</p><p>“We’ll protect you from him.” Liam promised, and Zayn kissed my forehead.</p><p>I was shaking as the band held me, and was comforted by the fact they understood why I was afraid. I needed the comfort and I needed to know that they were on my side. I knew in my head they were, but I’d needed the reassurance to know for certain that I wasn’t alone.</p><p>“No way is that asshole getting close to you, Anila.” Louis swore as the hug broke, and I managed to smile.</p><p>“I wish I could just get him put away for what he’s done without his father getting in the way.” I said, wiping my tears away.</p><p>“We can help, meri jaan.” Zayn said, and I smiled more.</p><p>“I just want him to stay far away. I don’t want him anywhere near me or Abisali, or any of you.” I said, realising too late I’d mentioned mine and Zayn’s son in front of the band for the first time.</p><p>“Abisali?” Harry questioned.</p><p>I bit my lip, not sure if I should tell Zayn he was a father in front of his bandmates.</p><p>“Abisali is my son.” I admitted softly, deciding part of the truth was better than nothing.</p><p>“You have a son?” Niall said, shocked.</p><p>I nodded, looking down a little.</p><p>“But you said that you wouldn’t sleep with someone unless you trust them…” Louis trailed off, looking confused.</p><p>“I do trust Abisali’s father. And I’m glad his father isn’t Jake.” I said quietly, and saw as Zayn started to put the dots together.</p><p>1., Abisali was my son. 2., Jake wasn’t Abisali’s father. 3., I loved and trusted Abisali’s father. 4., Abisali was the name Zayn had wanted for his first son. If Zayn didn’t figure it out on his own, I’d either tell him myself or have him use his gift to know.</p><p>“How old is he?” Liam asked as the six of us went to sit down.</p><p>“He’ll be turning three in March.” I said with a soft smile, thinking about my son who looked so much like his father.</p><p>Zayn’s eyes widened slightly. </p><p>5., about three years and nine months ago we got drunk together the night before he left for X-Factor.</p><p>He was starting to put the pieces together, but would he be able to figure out that he was a father? Would he be able to figure it out when Umi visited next week with Abisali, Elise, and Daniel?</p><p>I froze as I realised Abisali would be here with me when Jake came. I had to protect my son from my fiancé.</p><p>“What is it?” Zayn asked, knowing something had to be wrong.</p><p>“My family is coming to visit next week, and leaving Abisali with me for the rest of tour. I can’t let Jake find out about my son, I don’t know what I’d do if he hurt him.” I said, feeling my chest tighten as the realisation that my only child could be put in danger hit me.</p><p>“We’ll protect him, alright? I’ll let security and Paul know to make sure he doesn’t get left alone with Jake.” Liam said.</p><p>“Guys, could I talk to Anie alone?” Zayn said, and his bandmates left the room.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0035"><h2>35. Thirty-Five</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Anie, tell me the truth. Am I Abisali’s father?” He asked almost hesitantly, and I nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you for the past month, Zee. I couldn’t tell you over the phone.” I said softly, and he pulled me into a hug, wrapping his arms around me as if he was scared I’d disappear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All these years I knew I wasn’t where I needed to be. I needed to be with you and our son.” He whispered into my hair, and I hugged back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He looks so much like you, Zayn. The only thing he got from me are his eyes and nose, and a second skin.” I admitted, and Zayn kissed my forehead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s his full name, Windy?” Zayn asked, and I smiled softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Abisali Haris Malik, and he knows you’re his father. He really wants you to be there with us for Christmas, and I promised him that I’d tell you as soon as I could.” I told him, and Zayn grinned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you have any pictures of him?” He asked excitedly, wanting to know what our son looked like.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Even better, we can Skype him. His nap should be done in about 5 minutes.” I said as my tears slowly stopped falling, and Zayn lit up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He kissed my forehead, and the two of us sat on the bed after locking the door. Zayn sat next to me, and I could tell he wanted to use his gift to cheer me up. It always made me feel special, knowing that we only openly shared our gifts with each other.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do the magic, Zee. Please?” I asked, and felt him relax a little.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I looked up into Zayn’s warm brown eyes and smiled softly as I watched them slowly turn golden rather than brown; my own eyes turned teal so we could communicate silently.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Can you hear me?</span>
  </em>
  <span> His voice asked in my head.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I can hear you</span>
  </em>
  <span> I replied, relaxing a little with the familiar feeling that I’d missed so much.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I missed you so much Windy</span>
  </em>
  <span> Zayn thought to me, and I relaxed in his arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I missed you more Zee</span>
  </em>
  <span> I told him, and he kissed my forehead.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I wish I’d known about our son sooner</span>
  </em>
  <span> He admitted, holding me close.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Zee, I’m scared. What if Jake hurts you?</span>
  </em>
  <span> I thought quietly to him, wanting to keep the father of my child safe from the man who stole my skin.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Then I’ll just hurt him back. I won’t let him get away with hurting you or Abisali, and we WILL get your skin back from Jake</span>
  </em>
  <span> Zayn told me, and I relaxed more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>While Zayn and I were communicating, I took the chance to share my memories of Abisali with him. I watched his face light up as he saw my memories of our son’s birth, his first steps, first word, first holidays, his first time in his second skin, and more.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I can’t believe how much he looks like me</span>
  </em>
  <span> Zayn thought to me, and I smiled.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He’s excited for when you finally know. It’ll get him even more excited to see me once he knows that you know now</span>
  </em>
  <span> I replied, and Zayn grinned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zayn was sitting next to me when Umi answered the Skype call, Abisali on her lap and Elise and Daniel standing next to them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Umi!” Abisali grinned excitedly when he saw me, and my umi chuckled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, baby. I have someone here who wants to say hi to you.” I smiled and moved the laptop so Zayn was seen as well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Abi?!” Abisali clapped as he saw his father outside of photos for the first time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey there, buddy. I can’t wait to meet you in person. Your umi’s told me so much about you already.” Zayn smiled, and I saw the fond looks my siblings and Umi were giving him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just two weeks until then, Zayn. Then we can play games like we used to.” Elise smiled at the two of us.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> “And prank your bandmates.” Daniel chimed in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> “And mess with people.” Elise finished with a giggle, and Abisali put his thumb in his mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Little A, that’s yucky. We don’t put our thumbs in our mouths.” Zayn scolded lightly, already coming up with a nickname for our little boy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Already coming up with a nickname for him?” Umi teased.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zayn blushed, and I laughed.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0036"><h2>36. Thirty-Six</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Today was the day. My family was coming, and I’d see my son for the first time in months. Zayn was just as excited as I was, because he’d be meeting his son today. Zayn hadn’t intentionally left me to go through the pregnancy without him, he hadn’t even known he’d gotten me pregnant.</p><p>“You ready, Anie?” Zayn asked, and I nodded with a smile.</p><p>“Are you?” I replied softly, not wanting the boys to overhear.</p><p>“Not even close, but I want to be. I want to meet our son today.” He answered just as softly, and I grabbed his hand as the two of us began walking to where the boys were waiting to decide who else would be coming with me to pick up my son and meet my family.</p><p>We got there, and Liam handed me a cup of hot chocolate while he handed Zayn a cup of coffee. The boys had gotten used to my aversion to coffee, even if they didn’t know the reason why. Zayn did, but no one else here did. While I was pregnant with Abisali, even the slightest whiff of coffee had been enough to send me running to the nearest trash can. I couldn't drink coffee anymore because the pregnancy had ruined it for me.</p><p>“So we’ve decided that Harry will go with you two and the bodyguards to meet Anila’s family.” Louis announced, and I chuckled a little.</p><p>“What if we wanted Liam?” I teased, and the brunette perked up.</p><p>“Anie’s just joking, Li. All of you can come if you want though.” Zayn said, and the boys grinned.</p><p>“Yes! I knew we’d all be able to meet the tyke at the same time.” Niall cheered, and I chuckled.</p><p>“Abis will most likely launch himself at me or Zayn if Umi isn’t holding him, just telling you now.” I said, and the six of us went off towards the boydyguards so we could pick up my family from the airport.</p><p>I’d cleared it with Paul well beforehand for my family to visit, and I’d explained that my son would be left with us. Zayn had then explained that we couldn't let my fiancé be alone with Abisali under any circumstances. Paul hadn’t questioned it, but he’d given me an almost pitying look when he told us it was fine and that security would make sure my son was safe among them. Almost like he’d figured out just what type of person Jake was. Except it couldn't be that easy for someone to know that, could it? It had taken me three months to figure out that my fiancé wasn’t as kind as the rest of his family. It was three months after I started being with Jake that he raised his voice at me and moved to hit me for the first time.</p><p>Paul and a few other bodyguards (named Austin, Logan, and Kyle) were the ones accompanying us to the airport. They had been a little confused that all of the boys were coming with me, but when we explained it was because they didn’t think it was fair that only two of the five of them met my son first, they understood for the most part.</p><p>We got to the airport, and I almost immediately spotted my family waiting at the entrance. Umi was holding Abisali, and Elise and Daniel were on either side of them. I ran ahead of the guys, reaching my family pretty quickly.</p><p>“Nila!” The twins greeted me, both of them tackling me in a hug.</p><p>Umi chuckled and Abisali made grabby hands towards me after I got back up.</p><p>“Umi!” Abisali grinned, and Umi handed him to me as the rest of the guys and the bodyguards reached us.</p><p>I turned to the guys with Abisali perched on my hip, and he perked up even more when he saw Zayn.</p><p>“Boys, this is my umi Zarina, the twins Daniel and Elise, and my son Abisali. I’m guessing Baba couldn't make it?” I directed the question at Umi, and she nodded with a sigh.</p><p>“He really wanted to, even had his ticket paid for and everything. But the project the company’s doing…” Umi said, trailing off sadly.</p><p>“Baba should really take a break every once in a while, working that hard could stress him out.” Elise frowned, and the mood dampened a little.</p><p>“Abi.” Abisali said, looking right at Zayn.</p><p>“Abi?” Liam questioned, and I facepalmed.</p><p>“Guess the cat’s out of the bag.” Zayn gave a nervous chuckle as the four bodyguards and his band members gave the two of us looks.</p><p>“Kitty?” Abisali asked, looking around for the small animal.</p><p>“There’s no kitty.” I told mine and Zayn’s son softly, and he pouted.</p><p>“Kitty or Abi.” Abisali gave an ultimatum, making me chuckle a little as he made grabby hands towards Zayn.</p><p>“I blame you for this.” I told the father of my son as I handed said child to him.</p><p>“Why me?” Zayn asked as he held our son like Abisali might break.</p><p>“Well, he didn’t get it from me.” I retorted as our little group made its way out of the airport, me helping my Umi with her bags and my siblings carrying their own bags with slight difficulty.</p><p>Niall was smirking over at me and Zayn, and Harry was smiling as he watched Zayn hold Abisali all the way back to the hotel.</p><p>“So Abisali is Zayn’s son as well? And you still claim you two have <em> never </em> been more than mates?” Louis raised an eyebrow at me once we were on the boys’ floor, having dropped the twins and Umi at their own room.</p><p>Had Zayn seriously <em> not </em> come out to them yet?</p><p>“We were drunk.” I admitted, and Abisali giggled from where Zayn was holding him.</p><p>I smiled at the sight, making sure to take a picture with my phone to remember this moment. Abisali was smiling, his green eyes squinting as Zayn tipped him upside down.</p><p>“Abi down!” Abisali yelled through his giggles, and Zayn gave a very dramatic sigh and pout before putting the toddler down.</p><p>Abisali grinned as he began running around the hallway, nearly running headfirst into Kyle’s leg. Abisali stopped and looked up at Kyle, then backed up and continued running around. Liam seemed the most amused with my toddler’s antics, other than Paul and Zayn.</p><p>The toddler ran back to me, climbing on top of his little suitcase and adding a bit of weight as he yawned, seeming to have tired himself out. I chuckled as I pulled him along, and Abisali seemed content to just lay on the suitcase as I wheeled it to Zayn’s room, Zayn following close behind in case our son fell off.</p><p>The rest of the guys split off as we reached their rooms, and I glanced behind me to see Abisali had somehow fallen asleep on his suitcase and that Zayn was smiling fondly at our 2-yr-old son. The three of us reached Zayn’s room, and I stopped pulling the suitcase with the sleeping child on it. Zayn picked Abisali up without waking him, and I opened the room to see someone had put a Pack ‘N Play next to the bed for Abisali to sleep in. And I had a very good suspicion just who- a certain boyband that had recently learned I had a son and learned Zayn was the father. I knew they’d been listening when I told Zayn, they hadn’t gone further than the other side of the door.</p><p>“Anie, I’ll lay our boy down. You go take a bath, alright?” Zayn said, and I smiled at how he knew what I needed at any given time.</p><p>I walked into the bathroom, and let out a breath as I focused on a second part of my gift, and relaxed as the tub began to fill with water just this side of too hot, and took my clothes off before slipping into the water, smiling as my gift made it a bubble bath with vanilla, woodsmoke, mint, and chocolate scents mixed in. It smelled like home, and I glanced over when Zayn peeked his head into the bathroom to check on me.</p><p>“Hey, Anie.” He smiled as he saw the bubble bath, and his eyes lit up a little when they met mine.</p><p>“Yes, I used my gift to fill the tub. I’ve missed being able to use it so freely.” I answered his silent question, and watched as his eyes turned golden for a moment.</p><p><em> I can’t wait to see if our son inherits either of our gifts </em> He told me, and I chuckled.</p><p><em> And if he inherits both? </em> I asked in reply, my own green eyes flashing teal.</p><p><em> Then I’m afraid for any future babysitters </em> Zayn answered, and the two of us laughed.</p><p>“Zee, do you think my mother would do something to hurt our son?” I asked softly, not wanting to use my gift for such a dark topic.</p><p>“If she does I’ll fight her. I won’t let that witch lay a single finger on either of you.” Zayn promised, avoiding using curse words with our son in the other room.</p><p>I smiled as Zayn sat next to the tub, making sure not to look at my body as I soaked in the steaming water.</p><p><em> Do you remember the night we..? </em> I trailed off, my green eyes turning teal again.</p><p><em> Sort of. I remember feeling like I could do anything, and like I was on top of the world. And that it didn't matter that much that you weren't a guy </em>Zayn replied, his coffee eyes turning golden again.</p><p><em> I could share my memories of that night with you. I remembered after a few weeks, a few days before I found out you got me pregnant </em> I told him, and Zayn blushed.</p><p><em> So I’d see your point of view? You think that’ll help me remember that night? </em> Zayn asked, and I nodded before sharing the beginning of that night with him.</p><p>Zayn relaxed as it began to play out, keeping eye contact with me as I shared it with him.</p><p><em> Zayn and I were together in his room, using our gifts quietly. His eyes were golden and mine were teal, and we were more than just a bit buzzed from the alcohol Zayn had managed to sneak in. <br/></em>Do you think I’ll make it big?<em> Zayn asked silently, and I grinned. <br/></em>Of course I do, Zee. You’re an artist, there’s no way they won’t recognise your talent<em> I answered, using my gift to make his things float around the room.<br/></em><em>Zayn grinned back, and laughed as he lit the joint in my mouth with his gift. I smiled as I inhaled the smoke, and exhaled it in rings. Zayn laughed a bit more as I floated the joint to him, and took a drag before trying to copy my smoke ring trick. He couldn't, and I laughed as he failed.<br/></em>Hey<em> Zayn said, pouting a little. <br/></em>Want me to kiss it better, Malik?<em> I teased, and he grinned.<br/></em><em>The only one who knew all of me moved closer to me, the golden glow of his eyes dimming a little as he stopped right in front of me.<br/></em><em>“I’d rather you do more than kiss it better, Idris.” He whispered, and then we were getting naked.<br/></em><em>Zayn smelled like weed, alcohol, smoke, and something tangy I couldn't place. It was a heady smell that left me feeling higher than any joint could.</em></p><p>I shared the rest of that night with Zayn, and smiled softly as I finished taking my bath after I was done.</p><p>“That was our first time, Windy. We shared it.” Zayn whispered.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0037"><h2>37. Thirty-Seven</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>In the morning, I woke up next to Zayn in the large bed. Abisali was still fast asleep, and I slipped out of bed to take a shower before I got ready for the day. I wanted to feel </span>
  <em>
    <span>clean</span>
  </em>
  <span> when I showed Abisali around the hotel and told him what areas were off-limits.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I finished my shower, then realised I didn’t have any clothes to change into. My clothes were all still in my own hotel room, and Zayn’s clothes were noticeably baggy on me. I sighed to myself, then left the bathroom with a towel around me, and went to Zayn’s suitcase. I needed to be dressed, I didn’t want to scar anyone by walking to my room and grabbing my things while naked. Especially not with the cameras these hotels had in the hallways.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I pulled on one of his super soft hoodies that was extremely baggy on me (curse you short person genes) and pulled on a pair of his jeans that I had to roll up a few times or risk tripping over the ends, then </span>
  <em>
    <span>booked</span>
  </em>
  <span> it down the hall to my own room as quietly as I could so I could change into my own clothes (that actually fit me).</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I was keeping Zayn’s hoodie though. It felt soft against my skin and it smelled like Zayn, which was always going to be soothing no matter what happened between me and my best friend. I got changed into a pretty wine-purple shirt Zayn had gotten me, a pair of black leggings, and pulled on a pair of fuzzy boots after putting on a pair of Harry Potter socks. The Harry Potter thing had become a sort of gag-gift Zayn and I got each other every year, since we could do </span>
  <em>
    <span>actual</span>
  </em>
  <span> magic and it wasn’t just fiction.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once I was dressed, I stashed Zayn’s hoodie in my bag and went back to his room to spend more time with him and our son this morning. I entered Zayn’s room again, to find he hadn’t even stirred a little since I’d left the bed. I smiled softly and shook my head fondly, before going to check on Abisali. He was still asleep, thankfully, and I relaxed a little.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I got back into the bed next to Zayn, and gave a surprised little gasp when he pulled me into his side and pressed his face lightly against the back of my neck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where’d ya go?” He mumbled tiredly, and I chuckled softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Took a shower, then went to m’ room to get some o’ m’ own clothes.” I mumbled back, already feeling sleepy again from the warmth he gave off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mm.  Coulda just worn m’ clothes, Windy.” Zayn whispered, pulling me closer so we were spooning properly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Abisali woke up then, and started crying softly. Zayn left the bed slowly, like he didn’t want to but knew he had to. I heard him walk over to where our son was in his crib and pick up our little boy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Abi?” Abisali got out through his tears, and Zayn hushed him softly as he brought him back to the bed Zayn and I had slept in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, little A. You wanna cuddle with umi and abi?” Zayn spoke softly, and I smiled as I turned over, just in time to see Abisali fill his nappy while Zayn was holding him close.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I tried my best not to laugh, but Zayn’s immediate expression of horror was comical. Abisali gave a satisfied little sigh and relaxed, and I gave the father of my son a sympathetic smile and pointed to his suitcase where his diaper bag was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Looks like he needed to go.” I said through the giggles that escaped, and Zayn brought Abisali’s diaper bag and our son into the bathroom to change him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zayn came back about five minutes later, a new nappy on our son, and a newly content Abisali gnawing on his fist in Zayn’s arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He almost peed on me.” Zayn complained halfheartedly, and I chuckled as Abisali cuddled into my side before Zayn laid on the other side of him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you almost pee on abi, little A?” I asked the toddler, who shook his head sleepily and pulled Zayn’s arm around him as much as he could with his weak little child strength.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Abisali Haris, we don’t lie.” Zayn reprimanded lightly, and our son’s chin quivered a little.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In his little 2-yr-old mind, he probably thought he’d gotten his abi mad at him for some reason.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Abi’s not mad at you, kiddo. He just doesn’t want you to lie about stuff, okay?” I reassured mine and Zayn’s son, and Abisali pressed his cheek against Zayn’s arm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Abis, you wanna play with the boys when everyone's up?” Zayn asked gently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Abisali yawned around his fist, and I smiled softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know, now that they know we have a son together, they’re probably even more convinced that you’re straight.” I told Zayn softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m a flaming gay and </span>
  <em>
    <span>somehow</span>
  </em>
  <span> they don’t see that. I even offered Liam a blowjob back on X-Factor, </span>
  <em>
    <span>and</span>
  </em>
  <span> a few months into the band, </span>
  <em>
    <span>and</span>
  </em>
  <span> on his birthday, </span>
  <em>
    <span>and</span>
  </em>
  <span> around New Year’s, </span>
  <em>
    <span>and</span>
  </em>
  <span> a few months ago, </span>
  <em>
    <span>and</span>
  </em>
  <span> a week ago.” Zayn admitted, and I couldn’t hold in my snort.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If I bring it up, how likely is he to remember?” I asked mischievously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He was drunk each time it happened, so he might have chalked it up as a weird recurring dream. I was only a bit buzzed at most though.” He told me, and I bit my lip so I wouldn’t laugh too hard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m definitely bringing it up then, just not around Abisali.” I decided.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Zayn gave me his panicked look, the one he had when I was about to tell his crush he liked him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oh. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Zayn’s crush on Liam. This was going to be fun, and I was definitely going to take joy in making my best mate’s crush finally realise the feelings are reciprocated.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“D’ya think we could go to the beach at some point? I know my umi made sure to pack Abisali’s skin with his things.” I asked, and Zayn grinned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course we can, I'll even sneak out with you two just to see him shift if I have to.” Zayn promised, and I smiled.</span>
</p>
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